How personal should you get in Social Media?

I recently wrote a post on the Five Social Media Marketing Mistakes Companies Make. One point in particular generated quite a few comments and that is that it can be a mistake to mix personal and business on your social media profiles.

While I didn't explicitly say to avoid this, and I personally do mix it up a bit, the point was interpreted by many that I was saying to not do it at all. Clearly I wasn't very clear.

Social media is, well, social. And social is about being personal and conversational and communicating with your authentic voice. But where do you draw the line?

Certainly personal stories almost always attract the most attention. And your audience wants to know who you are, what makes you tick, what you believe, how you think. But does that mean you have to reveal all the details of your personal life in order to build trust and rapport?

I don't think so. I'm a very private person so sharing personal stuff doesn't come naturally to me. I don't even tell my mother everything that's going on! I've made a choice to stick to mostly business content on my social networks (much to the dismay of my family and friends on Facebook some of whom now block me because they aren't interested).

The one part of my private life I do share are my runs. I'm a pokey amateur runner and get together with a group of friends nearly every Sunday morning for a long run. I always have my phone and usually take a couple of pictures of our running locale. We meet all over Los Angeles County and often run in beautiful places like Santa Monica along the beach or on trails in Griffith Park.

I post these photos on twitter and Facebook and always get comments, often from people I don't know well. These photos and sharing this personal part of my life is like an ice-breaker. I've met other runners and connected with people who live in L.A. and others who used to live in L.A. and enjoying seeing pictures of places they loved.

What's the point of all this? What you choose to share is up to you. My friend and colleague Mari Smith often says (paraphrasing), "Only post what you would not be embarrassed about seeing in the New York Times or your grandchildren finding online in fifty years!"

My colleague Dr. Rachna Jain says (article to be published soon):

In order to benefit from persuasive social media, you need to have opinions, and be open about sharing them. You need to be a real person, first- one with likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, and the more varied the better. People are naturally drawn to interesting and active people.

In the end it's up to you how much to share. Some people, like my colleague Kathleen Gage seem to be able to effortlessly weave personal stories in a way to make broader business points. Others, like me, prefer to keep things a little closer to the vest.

Where do you stand on mixing personal vs. professional on your social networking sites?

Related post:
Five Social Media Marketing Mistakes Companies Make

Comments

[Lisa Olinda]

I think you have to find the balance that is good for YOU! I typically keep things close to the vest. I strayed from this one time and shared that I homeschool my children. I was amazed at how many people started asking questions about homeschooling and working from home. It opened a whole different virtual community for me. I believe if we get too personal it can make people uncomfortable. I try to keep communication about my kids light and something that won't embarrass them in their social media community.

[Debra Murphy]

Denise, I follow pretty much the same guidelines you do - I will share my hobbies (golf, fitness, sports) and interests (U2, music) because it helps round out the person I am and enables people to get to know me a bit better. My criteria for what I will reveal on a social network is anything I would feel comfortable talking about with colleagues or clients in person or in an office setting.

[Debra Baxter]

Denise said, ". . . social is about being personal and conversational and communicating with your authentic voice. But where do you draw the line?"

This is a good discussion and something I've been wondering about. I sometimes feel a little phony when I don't share something because it might not fit the image of a successful professional. Can we limit what we say and still be authentic? Maybe we can still be authentic, but some things are private.

[Kathleen Gage]

Thanks for the post Denise. Until recently I would share only those things that were not too emotionally charged. However, as you know, my life was recently turned upside down with my father's health concerns.

Recently I sensed it was something I needed to share via my blogs and social networks.

Was the process emotional for me? Without a doubt. Yet, it was also very healing - not just for me, but for many of my readers.

And...it is amazing how many people shared either through blog comments or private emails that they had gone through similar experiences.

Have I lost some subscribers due to "straying off the path" they thought I should stay on? Absolutely.

Have I gained a deeper relationship with other readers? Absolutely!

Amazingly, I am finding that I feel a much deeper connection to those who have shared their stories and those who are simply saying, "Thanks, your words have brought comfort."

As you stated, we have to be comfortable with what we are sharing. And, like you, Mari's words of wisdom about what you write showing up on the front page of the paper are wise indeed.

A timely and much needed discussion Denise.

Thank you!

[Jim Mitchem]

I don't think it's so much about 'what you share' as 'how' you share. If you're an introvert or recluse, don't worry about jumping into SM as a social buccaneer - just be yourself. I recently wrote a post about this topic: http://tinyurl.com/qohwcx

[Andrea Reynolds]

This is timely for me, too.

I think personal crises can have a debilitating effect on our business lives. Years ago when several clients' businesses fell apart after being swindled out of their life savings by several "sweetheart swindlers" I knew the only way to assist them was to support their recovery from their personal adversity before helping them recover professionally.

In recent years, my own life has been fraught with several disasters which have put me in the poorhouse. I have kept quiet until now, but perhaps if I had been "real" prospective clients might not have angrily called me greedy when they thought I was a millionaire refusing to work for them for free. Had they known I was in worse shape than they financially, because of crimes others committed, perhaps they would have been kinder, more patient.

It's interesting that today is the day I have started being truthful about my personal predicament and have started building a different web site where my business practice used to be, to let the world know. It's scary, but there isn't much else to lose. I'm grateful every day just to have walked away with my life and my brain intact.

If people shun me because I'm no longer successful and truthful about it, that's OK. I'm used to it. If my life story is held up to ridicule on the front page of a newspaper, that's nothing new. It's already happened. I continue to live every day, being the hopeful, optimistic, kind person I've always been. And if by telling my story, I make new friends who give me encouragement and virtual hugs, I will be richer for it.

[social networking software development]

When evaluating membership sites, forums and networking sites make sure a personalized signature is part of joining. Your signature is your connection and what makes social networking work. If people don't know where to find you and your business then you're missing out on the benefit.

[postcard marketing]

Knowing when to draw the line is key. Some people go far in sharing past trangressions that could harm thier image without knowing it.
I think doing things in moderaton is what its all about. The whole idea is to build relationship of trust not relationship of mistrust with your horror stories.

[SallyK]

I think being authentic, honest and having integrity is what is important. How much personal information you want to share is up to you. I am a very open book online and figure if someone doesn't like the person I am I probably don't want to be working with that person anyway. I've found by being open and being myself I attract people who are fun to work with. I think of social networking somewhat like the modern golf course. A place to let your guard down and let people get to know the personal side of you.

[Francesca]

I agree when posting to a social media site you need to be careful about what you post. Once it's out there and you decide to delete it, after you've thought about it, it's still out there somewhere in space and it could come back to haunt you later.

Yes, you need to show your true self but you also have to be true to yourself. Is that story something you want the Universe to know?

If the story helps to get a point across I don't see a problem in posting it provided you've censored the story in some format so that it doesn't hurt your reputation or someone else.